Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
