it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.