He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
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i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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