the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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