I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
