I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
