You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
