im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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