I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
