oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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