I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
