Princesses don't give blow jobs
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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