is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
