i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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