xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
