she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
