and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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