Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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