glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
