now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Randomize