I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
