just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize