sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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