Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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