but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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