Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize