quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
