I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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