I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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