Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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