I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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