forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
