im about as happy as oj after his trial
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
