I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
