I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
