GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
