she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
porn star boner night. come get it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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