Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
