Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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