Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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