There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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