i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
