grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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