so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize