That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
