You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
