im drinking this country out of the recession.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize