I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
