We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
