Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
