so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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