Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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