her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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