My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize