she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
