You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
