Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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